Monday, October 15, 2012

It's tense

So as long as I get to free write, I decided to mess with a couple of strange uses of tense this week  :)  

Up first:  The scenic present.  Here is the textbook example.  I hope to post an original piece in the scenic present tomorrow ...
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In these days before the funeral, I saw but little of Peggotty, except that, in passing up or down stairs, I always found her close to the room where my mother and her baby lay, and except that she came to me every night, and sat by my bed's head while I went to sleep.  A day or two before the burial—I think it was a day or two before, but I am conscious of confusion in my mind about that heavy time, with nothing to mark its progress—she took me into the room.  I only recollect that underneath some white covering on the bed, with a beautiful cleanliness and freshness all around it, there seemed to me to lie embodied the solemn stillness that was in the house; and that when she would have turned the cover gently back, I cried:  “Oh no! oh no!” and held her hand.

If the funeral had been yesterday, I could not recollect it better.  The very air of the best parlour, when I went in at the door, the bright condition of the fire, the shining of the wine in the decanters, the patterns of the glasses and plates, the faint sweet smell of cake, the odour of Miss Murdstone's dress, and our black clothes.  Mr. Chillip is in the room, and comes to speak to me.

“And how is Master David?” he says, kindly.

I cannot tell him very well.  I give him my hand, which he holds in his.

“Dear me!” says Mr. Chillip, meekly smiling, with something shining in his eye.  “Our little friends grow up around us.  They grow out of our knowledge, ma'am?”  This is to Miss Murdstone, who makes no reply.

“There is a great improvement here, ma'am?” says Mr. Chillip.

Miss Murdstone merely answers with a frown and a formal bend:  Mr. Chillip, discomfited, goes into a corner, keeping me with him, and opens his mouth no more.

I remark this, because I remark everything that happens, not because I care about myself, or have done since I came home.  And now the bell begins to sound, and Mr. Omer and another come to make us ready.  As Peggotty was wont to tell me, long ago, the followers of my father to the same grave were made ready in the same room.

There are Mr. Murdstone, our neighbour Mr. Grayper, Mr. Chillip, and I.  When we go out to the door, the Bearers and their load are in the garden; and they move before us down the path, and past the elms, and through the gate, and into the churchyard, where I have so often heard the birds sing on a summer morning.

We stand around the grave.  The day seems different to me from every other day, and the light not of the same colour—of a sadder colour.  Now there is a solemn hush, which we have brought from home with what is resting in the mould; and while we stand bareheaded, I hear the voice of the clergyman, sounding remote in the open air, and yet distinct and plain, saying:  “I am the Resurrection and the Life, saith the Lord!”  Then I hear sobs; and, standing apart among the lookers-on, I see that good and faithful servant, whom of all the people upon earth I love the best, and unto whom my childish heart is certain that the Lord will one day say:  “Well done.”

There are many faces that I know, among the little crowd; faces that I knew in church, when mine was always wondering there; faces that first saw my mother, when she came to the village in her youthful bloom.  I do not mind them—I mind nothing but my grief—and yet I see and know them all; and even in the background, far away, see Minnie looking on, and her eye glancing on her sweetheart, who is near me.

It is over, and the earth is filled in, and we turn to come away.  Before us stands our house, so pretty and unchanged, so linked in my mind with the young idea of what is gone, that all my sorrow has been nothing to the sorrow it calls forth.  But they take me on; and Mr. Chillip talks to me; and when we get home, puts some water to my lips; and when I ask his leave to go up to my room, dismisses me with the gentleness of a woman.

All this, I say, is yesterday's event.  Events of later date have floated from me to the shore where all forgotten things will reappear, but this stands like a high rock in the ocean.

I knew that Peggotty would come to me in my room.  The Sabbath stillness of the time (the day was so like Sunday! I have forgotten that) was suited to us both.  She sat down by my side upon my little bed; and holding my hand, and sometimes putting it to her lips, and sometimes smoothing it with hers, as she might have comforted my little brother, told me, in her way, all that she had to tell concerning what had happened.

—from Chapter 9 (I Have A Memorable Birthday) of The Personal History and Experience of David Copperfield by Charles Dickens

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