I did keep playing with the second person, but I didn't try to model Kafka ... actually, a friend told me this summer that you shouldn't model anyone anyway. But, because I'm only playing---as opposed to trying to write seriously---I still do it once in a while. Do you recognize what I'm imitating for the form in this one?
The good thing is, today I managed a form in only 144 words. That's only about half as many words as the original :)
On the other hand, I'm not sure this qualifies as a second person narrative (as distinct from only being in the second person as far as the grammar is concerned)---
__________________________
Listen.
You shouldn't have taken the bus in the first place. It wasn't even raining.
Then you needn't have sat that close to the door. Didn't you once tell your friend Jenn how sexy the long seat at the back was?
Third, who asked you to slide over to the window when he got on and stood near your seat?
Fourth, you didn't have to say hello when he said hi.
Next, you definitely shouldn't have given him your number. That's five of them.
The sixth would be that, even if you couldn't say no, why did you have to go and give him your real number?
Seventh, you could have simply hit him with a no reply when he called in the middle of lunch. After all, your mouth was full.
And eighth---but that's enough. You don't have to actually show up. Don't.
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