The journalism student's lament

I wanted to read some more Burns today (and briefly---very briefly---discuss it afterwards):

The Highland Widow's Lament

By Robert Burns

Oh, I am come to the low Countrie,
Ochon, Ochon, Ochrie!
Without a penny in my purse,
To buy a meal to me.

It was na sae in the Highland hills,
Ochon, Ochon, Ochrie!
Nae woman in the Country wide
Sae happy was as me.

For then I had a score o' kye,
Ochon, Ochon, Ochrie!
Feeding on yon hill sae high,
And giving milk to me.

And there I had three score o' yowes,
Ochon, Ochon, Ochrie!
Skipping on yon bonie knowes,
And casting woo' to me.

I was the happiest of a' the Clan,
Sair, sair may I repine;
For Donald was the brawest man,
And Donald he was mine.

Till Charlie Stewart cam at last,
Sae far to set us free;
My Donald's arm was wanted then
For Scotland and for me.

Their waefu' fate what need I tell,
Right to the wrang did yield;
My Donald and his Country fell,
Upon Culloden field.

Ochon, Ochon, O, Donald, Oh!
Ochon, Ochon, Ochrie!
Nae woman in the warld wide,
Sae wretched now as me.

I didn't find a recording online that has the whole poem, so let's listen to this in two parts.  The first video has something completely different for the 6th and 7th stanzas (but deviates from the text only for a total of 5 words in the other 6 stanzas); the second video skips most of the poem (and also deviates from the text in the parts it does have), but it does touch on those 6th and 7th stanzas (plus it contains a bit of background on the Battle of Culloden, which means I'm saved the trouble of writing about history.  Yay!).

Okay, so that's what it sounds like.  Now about the text.  The simple structure of narrating in a single flashback serves three purposes:  It introduces the tragic tone right at the beginning and maintains the same tone throughout the poem, which would have been impossible if the narration started either before or during the battle; it makes sure the poem starts and ends at the same place, which is often desirable (at least in poetry); it is a non-linear narrative structure, which is also often desirable (and not only in poetry).

It can be read as a persona poem---the speaker of the poem can be understood perfectly well as an actual widow---but it can also be interpreted differently.  The speaker could be a personification of Scotland---this is underlined (to help a careless reader) in the last line of the 6th stanza:  For Scotland and for me suggests that Scotland and me are one and the same.  In this reading, the speaker's arrival in the low Countrie would mean the British initiative, after the Battle of Culloden, to integrate the Scottish Highlands into the rest of Britain.

Or the dead husband could be a personification of Scotland---this is suggested by the 3rd line of the 7th stanza (My Donald and his Country fell) ... but for some reason I find that reading less interesting.

So what has all this to do with a journalism student?  Nothing.  The title of today's post is about the following lame (but true) original effort (with a priamelic ending):

The Journalism Student's Lament

The professor said
the average grade
for this class is going to be

not an A,
not even a B,
but---weep oh weep---a C!

Please refrain from counting how many anapestic substitutions I needed inside of 6 lines.